OK. So it’s been a while. Well a week or two. UK is gripped in what I can only describe as a nightmare pandemic. I won’t discuss the governments approach to it here. This is not the place or time.
Thankfully we can ride. From the house. Back to the house. Above is a pic of my latest adventure a week ago. Torrential rain has stopped me (judge me if you will) venturing out on the bike this week.
January. January provides many challenges for us cyclists and those like me who struggle with the black dog (depression). What people that have never endured chronic long term depression don’t realise is that getting out of bed is an achievement. Getting your arse into work, faking the smiles and laughter is exhausting and once home you have nothing left for your family. Or at least this was my experience. Throughout I exercised. On and off. Stop start. Did it help? Sure it did. Annoyingly not as much as many would have you believe. Sure mild to moderate depression it works for. Severe depression? Well it’s certainly useful. Addressing the underlying cause with a professional and medication and exercise and diet in check and doing baby steps, with tiny goals got me there slowly. What’s the baby steps. Today I will have a shower. Next day today I’ll change my pants. May sound stupid. However at my worst these were the things I had to achieve. Building my life back from there.
I changed my job. 20 plus something years as a mental health nurse. Took me about 7 to 10 years and eventual complete crash to do. In the end I didn’t feel there was a choice. Before I continued to give the family what they needed and deserved. They are older now, the children. I was lucky. Lucky to have a family. Lucky to have parents that helped me enormously. I recognise that not everyone has such luck. My message would be simple tho. Never ever give up. Always plod on. You cannot see the future. This too shall pass.
Crikey I’ve kind of got away from cycling here for a minute. I thought I’d share a little. Just in case. Just in case by sharing my experience a little it helps you or someone carry on.
I don’t know the law regarding mentioning other people’s work. I’m going to be brave and put it out there. Messages that get through come from weird sources sometimes. There is a geordie bloke. He’s on Facebook of all things. Names Paul Mort. I hope he won’t mind me saying…… That I may not agree with everything he says on depression and anxiety, his book helped me immensely. One phrase. It was harsh. It helped me tho. “It’s your responsibility to get better. Nobody else’s.” Does hit you in the balls a bit. Or guts for ladies. It was a key for me. To stop blaming everyone and everything else and to start doing something to sort my shit out. To make changes. Now I’m not saying that phrase will help you. May help someone as it did me. Who knows.
OK. So cycling. Ah take a peak at some pics of my last ride below. I remember thinking in this mad world, with all the shit that’s going on. When I’m on my bike in fresh air I’m grounded. The world is beautiful and that hasn’t changed. In that moment of cycling I was free from fear, anxiety and at one with my surroundings. Mother earth has not changed. Its still there for us. Its we that must change.
Anyway. Enough of my thoughts. Here’s some pics to enjoy.
Cycling to an older age. 